Robyn's Wanderings

Arriving in Bermuda....anything to declare?

What have condoms, rice, incontinence aids and artificial teeth have in common?

Why am I starting a travel column with this? As you know it has been a while since we’ve been here. Well, since I have been here on Robyns’ Wanderings.

There are lots of reasons why I have been typing free, but perhaps the more important reason why I am back is because I need to complete the trilogy: Quebec part trois!

As you may remember the trip (Quebec….quoi?) to Quebec City started with me struggling to leave Bermuda with my camera that customs would not register (i.e. and save me money on duty when I returned to the island).

And the last time I left you I was struggling with bed bugs, freezing temperatures and snow that kept my feet wet in the old town of Quebec (Quebec…part deux).

Crazy? Absolutely. Everything that could possibly go wrong on a trip….did and yet, I had fun. Unfortunately, the fun had to end and I needed to return to Bermuda (though the prospect of shedding the layers was definitely enticing).

Returning to Bermuda

So I return to my question: what have condoms, rice, incontinence aids and artificial teeth have in common? I will let you know that none of these things were in my bag when I boarded my WestJet flight in Toronto.

And these items were not in that same checked bag when WestJet managed to lose it for me.

Yes, somehow WestJet managed, between Toronto and Bermuda (a direct flight) to lose my bag. Luckily I was greeted with a slow-moving bag-finder lady in Bermuda so two hours after landing I left the customs area of the LF Wade International Airport with a promise they would try to find my bag.

I won’t bore you with that two-hour story!

So back to the condoms, rice, incontinence aids and artificial teeth. These items were not in my lost bag. They were not in my carry-on bag or with me as the customs officer grilled me about my lost bag.

“So you have declared everything?”

Innocent eyes: “Yes, Sir. Everything.”

“And you have all of your bags?”

“Um, well, no. WestJet has done me a massive service and will be delivering the bag to my door step if they can find it some time this week.” ( I swear there was no sarcasm here).

“Oh…hmm….”

He looked so disappointed. Here was his chance to send someone to get inspected. Ha! Triumph over the customs people for once and I was allowed to finally meet my driver (read: dad) who was probably close to leaving the airport without me at that point.

But even if I had been smuggling condoms, rice, incontinence aids and artificial teeth, well technically, I would not be smuggling them because these items are DUTY FREE!!!

Remember the useful yellow slips to ensure you have paid duty on your goods? No need for you to register condoms!

Who knew? Well, I certainly didn’t and I bet you didn’t either. The only reason I had any idea was because of research for this blog post.

You want to know what else we can bring in for free? Check out the site here.  Of course the Customs’ office will only do so much work for the concerned citizen.

To get the full list of duty-free goods? Well, then you’ll have to check-out legislation. I can see everyone quickly flipping through that!

So I know you have one more question: did I smuggle my camera back into Bermuda? Well….. I will never tell. That is one of my little secrets.

But what is not going to be a secret any longer is what I have been working-on for far too long without doing anything about it – my book. After my year-long trip around the world, I decided to compile the columns I had published in The Royal Gazette with the addition of the backstory that was never printed.

So for the next couple of posts, my plan is to start sharing some of the book with you. Let me know what you think……………….

And here ends the Quebec City trilogy….au revoir.

Travel bureaucracy

Almost every country has it. It?

In Vietnam, for example, I was told by a guide that if he wanted to leave the country on a holiday he had to have a substantial amount of money in the bank (and proof of it), a good job to return to and apply to his government for a pass.

In India, I was told of a boyfriend trying to go to Canada to visit his girlfriend. Though he applied for a visa, he was denied.

What is this? I am talking about travel bureaucracy. It’s everywhere and it’s not only about leaving a country, but also entering.

For example when I tried to travel between Laos and Cambodia only to be required to pay  an “entry fee” to every man standing along the border in a uniform! Ok, so it was only US $1 per man, but still annoying.

And Bermuda? Well my home country is no different. Seemingly ridiculous procedures surround entering and leaving the country too.

I had always heard some stories, but on my recent trip to Toronto I actually got to be on the receiving end. I’m such a lucky girl!

I will give the Bermuda’s L.F. Wade International Airport customs guy one excuse: it was Christmas Day and I am sure he did not want to work, but lots of people have to work on Christmas. Still, I will give him that small leeway for his response:

“Hi, I need to register my camera,” I said.

“Do you have proof you bought it in Bermuda?” said the small man in a crisp blue uniform as he poked his head out of the barely-wedged-open door.

“Uh, well it was a birthday present, so no I don’t have a receipt.”

“Well, I’m not saying you are lying, but we will not give you a registration. Too many people sneak items into Bermuda.”

Bermuda might be beautiful, but.....

OK, I should explain the policy. Bermudian residents are required to purchase items in Bermuda or be prepared to pay duty of 35% on items acquired abroad.

To avoid the duty, we can register electronic devices (usually the only items we are taking that are the most expensive and hardest to prove you had before you left) before leaving the Island. This registration is delivered in the highly modern form of a yellow slip of paper!

Yes, there is no way you will ever lose that (sarcasm is free).

The yellow paper, however, is not a minor detail. Instead it is a Bermudian resident’s “get-out-of-35% duty” card!!!! Can you imagine?

Why, you ask do we have to pay such a high price? Well, the argument is that if government increase the price of purchasing items abroad, Island residents will be more likely to “Buy Bermuda” (I have my opinion about this economic policy, but that is a different blog entirely).

I have two problems with this checking system:

1. when an item is purchased in Bermuda, no one issues a yellow piece of paper. One might think that is important especially for, I don’t know, a camera which is almost definitely going to leave the island and one that might also be a present that the receiver should never know the price of…..I’m just saying.

2. if I do buy abroad (gasp!) and pay duty on the item, there is no way to show that the payment I make (all 35% of it) directly relates to a camera, etc…. So when I turn-up to customs at a later date there is no way to prove that, if I have not bought my item in Bermuda, that I paid duty on it. (I would show you a picture, but these are such high commodities, an extra form is just not possible to get!)

Instead, the form groups together all goods in a particular category i.e. clothing and footwear, and we pay the duty on the total amount. There is nowhere to actually list the items you are declaring and therefore, no way to reference the duty you paid on them. i.e. the customs’ officer was asking me for something I literally could not produce.

Get-out-of-Jail yellow customs' slips!

Let’s be honest here too, if a traveler manages to outsmart the bureaucratic process that is installed to just put more money in government’s coffers and sneaks their goods into Bermuda…..can we really penalize them at a later date? I don’t think so.

Tourists, you are not exempt! You can also be subject to these problems, especially if you are visiting residents. Travellers are allowed a $30.00 excemption on goods they plan to bring into Bermuda.

Bermudians? Well the first $100 for each household is free and then duty kicks in and so do the yellow slips!

So what happened with my recent trip, you ask….well I had to leave the Island with my camera bought in Bermuda (there was no way to send it home before the flight) and prayed that when I returned to the Island I could outsmart the process.

Did I? Well, you’ll have to come back tomorrow to see what happened…….oh and for some fun travels to Quebec City!

Walking a dangerous bridge with broken sneakers and a trash bag

It was 7 a.m., dark, very cold and threatening rain, but he arrived at our bus in torn jeans, broken sneakers and a leather jacket.

I didn’t even bother to comment. There would have been no point.

We began the drive to the beginning of the Torres Del Paine National Park hike in Patagonia, Chile and the closer we got, the darker it got.

Of course when the bus dropped us at the ferry stop for the ride to our path, the clouds decided to cry and my travel buddy looked like he was about to; not an inch of his 6’2” frame was waterproof.

Me, you ask? Oh, I had rented waterproof pants, had my waterproof, warm ski jacket on and was wearing hiking shoes so I was not too worried.

But you must have had more time to prepare for your five-day hike, Robyn.

You would have thought so, but actually I had arrived in Punta Arenas (the launch pad for the hike) the night before. The difference between me and my travel buddy? I listened to the advice of the hiking enthusiasts at the rental place.

Luckily we met a Belgium couple who gave my hiking buddy a rain poncho to try and protect some of his leather jacket and backpack.

Which brings me to something I have been thinking about for a while and a conversation I had with a fellow wanderer last week: why are some of the best known travelers men, when men can’t travel?

Am I being sexist? Perhaps, but then she told me about a man she met in Laos who had his passport torn apart in India.

Why? Because he placed his passport in one of those scanner bins before going through security. One of the workers saw his passport all alone and ripped-out pages for use in a fake passport. The traveler was thrown-out of India and had to return home.

Of course he then turned around and headed back to India, but what was he thinking in the first place?

Where is your passport, sir?

Should I go on? Ok, I will.

The two of them had just arrived in Cusco, Peru for a two week holiday from Boston so sun, well, was not their friend.

Day one in the hills behind Cusco, one man became bed-bound with a sun burn. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how you go to Cusco and end-up with a sun burn that looks like its from the Caribbean, but he did.

The next day his buddy threw his body down a cliffside as we biked through the hills near Cusco. Seriously, how were these two men going to make it out alive?

Ok, I did have one mishap. I wore shorts to Machu Picchu and the bugs bit, but I was fine.

My question is: why are men the travel writers? why are men the ones featured on travel shows? Where are all the women?

Before you even try to answer these questions with: but isn’t there Elizabeth Gilbert? I will stop you. She was never traveling.

Elizabeth Gilbert was on some self-defined quest with a very scripted journey and it ended with a love story. Travel is not that.

Which makes me wonder: why is the only story from female travelers one that ends with a love story?

Where are the female, Bill Brysons? Or the Michael Palins? Why, when I turn-on the Discovery Channel, is every single show led by a man?

Why does National Geographic only have one female columnist? Why is the one show that everyone raves about right now: “An idiot abroad” and it features a man? Ok, sorry it would have to be a man.

Women can travel to!

Before I move-on, one last question I have for you is: why when I “google” women travelers all I receive are warning signs!

“BE CAREFUL” “DON’T GO” “WHATEVER YOU DO TRAVELING MAKE SURE YOU DON’T DIE!!”

Look, I am not so silly as to think women do not have to worry when they travel. Of course they do. They also have to worry when they are at home. When I walk down the street at home I am usually scanning to make sure I do not have to worry about the man in front of me and I always think before I go running by myself.

Women just have to have these natural defenses. It’s sad, but it’s true.

Now when it comes to traveling, as long as women do not let these defenses down, there really is no greater problems for women on the road than at home (unless, of course, you are planning a visit to the front lines of a war. Then, well, you might want to take added precautions).

It’s sad. It’s sad that women have two choices when it comes to representing themselves in the traveling world: through love or through fear.

Seriously, are there no women out there who travel simply for travel’s sake? Well I’m one and I know there are others. I have two who write regularly for this blog.

So where is out travel show?

Oh, perhaps, you say, it’s because men have all of these crazy mishaps that women will only have travel shows if they wear bikinis and run around beaches. I mean each sex has to play to their strong points!

Biking through Thailand

Well, I went for a three-day, motorbike trip through Northern Thailand that took us through mountains of mist and water-covered roads.

I even skidded-out on the road to the long-neck village! Isn’t that exciting? Don’t I belong on the Discovery Channel?

I wasn’t going to take a bus and having ridden a motorbike since I was 16-years-old (not counting the rides on my parents’ bikes from two-year-old) I was no slouch!

So where is my show? Where is my book?

Well Robyn you have to survive in the wilderness like Bear Grylls.

Surviving Patagonia

Ok I will. I did survive the wilderness. Sure, I didn’t sleep in a camel or eat some ridiculous bug, but I was ready to walk through the wilderness of Torres del Paine National Park for five days by myself.

It was coincidence that a guy in the rental place needed a partner for his trip. Then he showed-up in jeans better suited for an 80′s concert.

Sure there are women out there traveling and writing. There are women traveling for adventure.

Why are they not famous? Why are they not famous TV presenters? Why, if we can travel, keep our passports, have fun, be adventurous and wear totally appropriate clothing are we not the main presenters on the discovery travel?

And last thing: if men have so much trouble getting around the world, as I witnessed, where are all the sites warning men about travel? Don’t leave your passport alone! Don’t wear broken sneakers through Patagonia…..

Just a few tips to start.

Tired Feet

So I’ve started a new job. Yes, I still have the travel column, I am still working on freelance writing, but, well, health insurance, social insurance and payroll tax all cost a lot.

What am I doing? Well I’m running around Swizzle Inn Restaurant in Bermuda trying not to break too many things and keeping everyone full on nachos and Swizzle.

Yes, I am a waitress and let me tell you I had no idea. It’s constant. It kills the feet. It requires patience unlike many things I have done in my life.

And that’s not one of the hardest things. Nope. One of the hardest is the schedule! And today is Monday, but it is also a holiday. Why? Because Christmas and Boxing Day were on the weekend.

But rather than enjoying the day off I will be donning my helmet and scootering my way to Swizzle Inn in Bailey’s Bay (i.e. next to the airport).

But I won’t be alone. I will be with other waiters and waitresses and maybe even shop assistants! What’s even crazier about working holidays now as a waitress, I also work random days.

I work Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays…hell I even work on Sundays! But rather than be alone, I will be joined by many people around the world.

Actually in most countries the actual work week runs from Sunday until Thursday. Of course not in Bermuda, America, Canada or Australia. Nope. I’m talking about Islamic countries.

Let me tell you last year while I was traveling around the world last year, countries such as Turkey, Jordan and Indonesia I had to get used to the fact that most people had Friday and Saturday off!

Yes, who knew? I didn’t either. The different schedule while I was traveling was something hard to get used to. My work week is so ingrained (Monday to Friday) that anything else seems strange.

So I guess as I head to work I will think of everyone in Islamic countries around the world. Oh and other waitresses.

On to the world of jugs of Swizzle and Burgers with Spicy Fries.

Antarctic Ale!

No I’m not kidding! Seriously someone, i.e. Nail Brewery, got their hands (or should I say mittens) on some ice from the Antarctic to create their most expensive bottle yet!

You think Bermuda is cold right now? You dread getting back on your motorbike after work today? Well have some thought for the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and its boat crew.

This crew, which runs around scaring and annoying Japanese Whaling boats from killing large mammals, spent so much time in the Antarctic they decided to bring it back to Australia.

What else would an Australian do with that kind of ice? An Australian with a brother-in-law who owned a brewing company? Well put it into a beer!

So John Stallwood, owner of Nail Brewing took the ice brought by his brother-in-law from an iceberg in the Antarctic and turned it into beer.

The first bottle of Nail Ale’s most was auctioned-off last month for $800 AUD or about US$790!! Or the MOST EXPENSIVE BEER in the world!

But that is nothing compared to a second bottle of the ale which was purchased for AUD$1,850 or about US $1,826.

You think a beer at your local pub or bar is expensive?! They have nothing on these auctions. But why pay so much?

Well for one the profit goes toward the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society which helps save wildlife and in particular whales.

And for two it’s the water. Really I didn’t think so or couldn’t imagine paying that much for water, but apparently beer drinkers can!

Yes apparently Beer is 90% water (and you thought it was alcohol!). So the water you use is incredibly important. Take it from these guys:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXh3tQMjpcs]

So enjoy that beer in front of you and consider buying one of the 28 beers left to help support saving the whales! Happy Monday.

The benefit of this Ale’s price, however, is that all proceeds go toward the Sea Shepherd and the crew’s courageous efforts to keep Japanese Whalers out of the Antarctic

It's chocolate time!

I’ve tried to stay away. I’ve walked by them in the pharmacies. I’ve seen them in store shops. But on Wednesday when I was doing my grocery shopping I couldn’t resist.

I couldn’t resist, yet I had to justify. I stood there in Lindo’s (Bermuda’s friendliest grocery store) and debated. How can I justify my need for an Advent Calendar?

Well for one and really should be the only reason: CHOCOLATE! And not just one chocolate or a box that you might sit and eat in one go this thing doles-out chocolates every day! Bring on the extra pounds I don’t care!

Just as the Advent Calendar hits your sweet tooth it also gives me a reason for being! Well a reason coupled with my coffee in the morning to be on a caffeine high! So reason two? Do I have to spell it out? A nice side-dish for your coffee.

Three, well of course it makes me feel like a kid again. I know, awww…..! I remember every morning we would scamper to the kitchen to find out what the chocolate was that day and scarf it down before the eggs were ready.

But the problem was there are three of us in my family and there was only ONE Advent Calendar. “Is it my turn yet mom?” No Robyn you only went yesterday.”

That’s the beauty of being an adult and reason four for getting to the pharmacy for one! I get to buy the Advent Calendar so I get the chocolates! Ha. Take that. Selfish? Ok maybe. So maybe I’ll share a couple.

Advent this and Advent that. Did you know that Advent stands for Coming in Latin? I bet you didn’t, but that’s what reason number five is for purchasing this chocolate maze. It made me find out what it stood for.

The coming of what? Well six is of course you have to stuff your face with chocolate. At least Christians have something to celebrate and that’s the nativity of Jesus.

Where did this all start? Apparently it all started with the German Lutherans! Yep here’s number seven for you. A history lesson (with a side of chocolate). At the beginning of the 19th Century the German Lutherans would physically count until December 24th. That include making chalk markings on the walls.

And eight is did you know when the first Advent Calendar was made? I bet you didn’t. I bet you’re glad I’m

A chocolate ear santa?

going to tell you.

Well the first Advent Calendar was handmade in 1851! The first printed Advent Calendar was made in Hamburg in 1902!

And nine is it gives you a way to see how other countries celebrate the holidays. Did you know, for example, that in Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Iceland and Finland there is also a tradition of having a Julekalender. It’s a TV show featuring a trio of comedic actors that has 24 episodes; one for each day until Christmas Eve.

Who knew? And for those of you, and me, who are not religious or may not be Christian what more could you ask for? What about bigger chocolates? So maybe the secular Advent Calendars are finally a way for everyone to enjoy something at the same time each year that doesn’t scream RELIGION!

Now go out and buy!

Finding my way home

“So we’ve been talking and we have a few deal breakers.”

I looked at my two possible new roommates and wondered how I would feel dating them. I mean that is what we are discussing. It has to be, right? We’re discussing deal breakers. What else could it be?

I thought I had seen it all when it comes to living with people.

I’ve had a number of roommates through the years. It began in boarding school with a girl who said to me on the first day: “Phew I am relieved. I thought you were going to be 500 pounds and fart in your sleep.”

Intestinal issues resolved, we moved on and became good friends.

There was a mormon roommate in college who did not like my partying ways. In Prague, I tried to live with a male. I became more maid than roommate.

I’ve lived with a two -year-old and a seven-month old as a live-in nanny for two years and eventually three girls in a four-bedroom place. There were two bathrooms and floors. We survived.

I don’t know if I can count the number of roommates or landlords I have had through the years, but I would say it’s a fairly common situation for me to be in.

So when I saw a room advertised on Bermuda’s-own classified website, emoo, I thought I would have no problem passing the inevitable roommate questions.

I went on the first date.

“We’re totally happy to have someone move in, but we wanted to make sure it was the right match. Oh, I have a dog, so I hope you’re ok with that.”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

We chatted. They like to cook, they work together and they were trying to fill an unfurnished apartment with things and people before rent was due.

I left happy. I called the next day to say I would be interested in the room.

“Oh great. But, um…this is weird. We never thought we would have one roommate we liked let alone two. And you’re both Bermudians!”

What does that mean? Anyway I heard her out. They wanted a second date. Fine.

Finding a sane roof over your head.

I moved my schedule around. I got dressed in some of my best jeans and I showed-up on time. Maybe it’s because I forgot the flowers. Was I supposed to bring chocolates?

Whatever the case is, we began discussing deal breakers. Yes, I wrote deal breakers.

Did I have any? “Uh, don’t be loud in the morning?”

I really didn’t have anything else to say. I actually laughed. Deal breakers?! Are you trying to find a roommate or a soulmate?

The third date never appeared. I kept looking at my phone. Why won’t it ring? Why are they not calling? Maybe they lost my number? Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed so hard?

After three days I realized they had gone with my competitor. I would never hear from them again…….

Or so I thought.

Almost two weeks later? “Uh….so the place is still on the market if you wanted to stop-by and figure out if you could move in,” was the message on my phone.

Just as I had given-up. Just as I was moving on, I get the call. Typical.

I might be looking for a place to stay, but I’m not desperate. I have some respect and quite frankly I do not move in for any less than begging.

I’ve moved-on to someone who doesn’t have quite so many deal breakers. Myself. Bring on the studio!